Before I ever kissed a guy I always wondered how it was done. I wanted to know ALL the details, but mainly “How do I move my lips?!”. The only advice I could find was “it will happen naturally”. What the heck?! I was not satisfied and I know that you would not be satisfied if I told you that same old stuff.
I had to settle for learning through experience, funny thing is, one thing I’ve learned is that for the most part, kissing really does come naturally! With the first guy, kissing was awkward, and not very enjoyable because I was so nervous, but after him I felt like a pro.
So, I will give you all the basic step-by-step instructions and hopefully that will give you the confidence you need to get that first kiss (or second, or third…) behind you, so you can start experimenting and trying new things on your own!
Step 1: Moving In
The first step to a kiss is “moving in”. This begins as eye contact with your partner while your faces are in close proximity. When the eye contact is intense and does not break you know a kiss is going to happen.
Next, one or both partners will lean their face towards the other person’s face. Keep your eyes open and maintain eye contact just while “moving in”. This will prevent you from missing or having a collision.
When your faces are almost close enough to touch, tilt your head a little to the side. If you both go in for the kiss straight-on your noses will bump, with tilted heads your noses will just rub or not touch at all. As a general rule, tilt your head to the right, this seems to be most natural, hopefully your partner will also tilt their head to their right so you are tilting in opposite directions and won’t bump noses. As you tilt your head, slowly close your eyes, and part your lips.
It is important to close your eyes, keeping them open will probably weird out your partner. When parting your lips don’t open your mouth wide, just part them, as if you were going to take a drink from a cup. You are now about to achieve lip contact.
Step 2: Lip Contact
When your lips touch the position should be one whereby one person’s upper lip is nuzzled between the other person’s lips. So, for example, they have your upper lip between their lips and you have their lower lip between yours. (see diagram to right)
Step 3: Moving Your Lips
There are many ways to move your lips while kissing. As you become more experienced you will try different techniques and learn new ones both on your own and from your kissing partners. I am going to describe the very basic make-out technique.
The motion of kissing is much like if you were giving someone a peck on the cheek. You press your lips on their skin, then pucker your lips (pushing them out a little), then release…which usually creates a quick suction noise. When making out you are basically giving your partner a series of pecks on the lips, but drawing each one out to last longer. You also do not kiss them then pull away, then kiss them and pull away…you maintain lip contact between and during each drawn out peck. The softer, drawn out nature of making out should mean you won’t be making suction noises the whole time.
Add Some Variety to Your Kisses
Here are some simple ways to add variety to your kisses:
- Don’t kiss just their lower lip the whole time. Switch from top to bottom and try tilting your head a little more so you are kissing the corner area of their mouth.
- Stop the kissing motion briefly to slowly swipe your lips across theirs from corner to corner, diagonally.
- If you want to kiss their neck don’t just stop kissing their lips and move your head to kiss their neck…make a trail of quick pecks up their jawbone from their lips to their ear then down the side of their neck. Or, you can make a trail of kisses down over and under their chin to their neck. As you kiss under their chin your partner’s head should tilt back to allow easier access to their neck. FYI: tilt your head back some when your partner is trying to kiss your neck!
Practice Makes Perfect
You don’t need a kissing partner to get started on practicing. Here is one way to turn your hand into the perfect kissing practice tool:
Make a fist and face your palm towards you. Now raise two fingers in the “peace” sign (your ‘pointy’ and middle finger). Instead of spreading your fingers in a “V”, keep them together, but slightly parted when neccessary. Now tilt your hand to the side and you have a set of makeshift lips. Pretend the top finger is your partner’s upper lip and the bottom finger is their lower lip.
Below are some other places on your hand that you can use to practice kissing:
- The web of skin between your thumb and first finger
- The back of your hand
- Your wrist
